A Tongue twister from Bicester

-

There once was a tongue-twister from Bicester
Who came over to French kiss my sister
But they stayed together
For ever and ever
When my sister insisted he fist her

Daniel Guy

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

New Job at the Giovanni Plastic Factory.

-
Nice to meet you. I’m Frank.  I work upstairs in Quality Control. Welcome to Giovanni Plastics.  I’ve been here twenty-three years and loved every minute. I’ll tell you something; the quality of plastic produced in this factory is the best in the world.  When I started here, I didn’t know what the fuss was about. But when I actually felt the quality of the stuff coming out these machines, I thought oh yeah, this is like, the best, softer and shinier than anything I’d come across ever before. I think you’re going to enjoy working here. In fact I know you are.  Karen, in personnel, does extensive research these days on everyone who applies to work here, including a thorough examination of on-line activity, and she only selects people who’ve got a thing about plastic and shiny material. It guarantees a loyal workforce. I mean look at this.   Mmmmmm! This is our top range food wrap. Feel that… This stuff comes off that machine over there. It might look like an ordin...
Read more

Sealed Up Inside The Plastic Sack

-
  1. Shhhhhhh  Mr Simon… We are not going to harm you…. Shhh, be quiet and you will get out of this alive, I promise you. Make a noise and we’ll leave you to suffocate… OK?  That’s better…   Now you’ve just regained consciousness and you find yourself tied up inside a large clear plastic sack. It’s natural that you are anxious.  Listen carefully and I will explain to you what has happened…. You have been kidnapped. OK? It was me who jumped you in the hotel toilet. I held the chloroform cloth against your mouth till you passed out, and it was into my arms you collapsed when the chloroform took hold.  The guy in front with the beard driving the van is Kirsty. He’s my partner. You probably recognise him.  He was standing outside in the hotel corridor, dressed as a cleaner and pushing a trolly. Kirsty is not his real name but that’s want he wants me to call him at work.  Kirsty and I get contracted by individuals and organisations w...
Read more

Bagging in the Barracks

-
  It’s 2am and Private Berenger is showing his two room mates an AI porn video on his laptop.  ‘I mean - look at the size of that cock!’ He whispers, keeping his voice low so the night duty sergeant at the end of the corridor doesn’t hear.  Berenger began his army training a week ago and is hating it. He didn’t want to be a soldier but he came back from college without a degree so his father made him join up, or lose his inheritance. So there he is, making the best of it. He’d hung his head out of the dormitory window to smoke a joint earlier, and now he’s pleasantly relaxed.  But this was not a good idea.  Sergeant Tomkins passed by, smelt the cannabis as he was patrolling the barracks and reported it straight away. Suddenly the door opens and a shaft of bright neon light from the corridor outside illuminates their faces as they sit around the bed staring at the laptop.  A tall silhouette switches on the light dormitory light.  It’s Com...
Read more